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Everything RTT!!!

Moondance Jam 29
July 16-18, 2020

Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Hippy » Sun Jun 06, 2010 3:46 pm

I just found this written on a roll of toilet paper (which I think may or may not have been partially used & re~rolled - Puckin' Figgs!) sitting atop all the empty KY bottles, mayo jars, & vodka bottles from my garage. Geez Earl & the midge are slobbs & never pick up after themselves, but, after reading Howler & Deacons posts I figured it may be a clue:

"I was drunk & under the influance of everything when I was strongarmed & taken against my will by Lady Gaga & Sinead O'Conner, who were trying to, ummmm, pursuade me :? to let them hang with us on tour this summer to revitaloze their very, very brief "Wannabe" carreers. After realizing that the smoke signal I was smelling was in fact "THE SECRET SIGNAL" and not just Deacon & Amy Whineywhore having yet another "Just 1 last time for old times sake" get together, I tried to escape the Bald & the Beautyless only to have them both go into hysterical outbursts resulting in a Cat Fight of epic proportions. Imagine 2 chicks fighting in a room covered in 15mil polly filled with turkey greese & mayo ;) I then raced out to my awaiting Segway which I "borrowed" from some dumb looking Yuppie at the nearesr Starbucks & headed east through the Rocky Mountains in search of my distressed lil buddy. Of course the trip took longer than expected due to having to stop every 90min to recharge that stupid contraption, I finally arrived at Howlers last known location at the Waste Water Treatment Plant, only to find a tied up Howler with a gag ball & gimp mask, buck nakid with the tail end of a large muskey protruding from the spot where he sits. After yanking it out, & realizing it was the entire fish roughly 7ft in length, & hearing Howler scream (I'm not sure but I think they were screams of pleasure. That sick, sick man) footsteps were heard coming closer & closer. With the well being of my friends Howler, & the Midge - whose location is unknown, but never the less both are in distress, I knew it was up to me to save them. So after some quick thinking, and admiring that wall mount of a fish, I decided to...."

That was all he wrote. So after considering the options I feel it's my duty to try & think like Earl to figure out where they are. So I'm off to the bar for some pizza & beer while I contemplate just how I can lower my inelligence enough to achieve that sort of messed up thought process
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>Hippy
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Deacon_Blooze » Fri Jun 11, 2010 6:49 pm

I found the damn midget! Whilst I was floatin on the oil spill in the Gulf, just soakin in the rays and eatin dead stuff, I saw a Message In A Bottle! After I shook out that whiny Lib Sting, I noticed that there was a hidden note written on a tampon string! It said, "Please, anyone, if you find this save my turkey baster penetrated butt! Follow the Alphabits trail to my location!" So, being the ever vigilant Deacon ... I did! It led me to a shallow, newly dug grave in Peru with a nameplate that said PS Van Der Sloot was here! I dug with all my might and without spilling my homebrew, found the Little Bugger! He was buried up to his neck in Mayo and Ded Squirl Nuts! I hosed him off, we kicked some daisies, had a few shots of UV and were on our way back to the USA! What an ordeal! Now, if I could just find my beer!
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Big Daddy aka RDB » Fri Jun 11, 2010 7:58 pm

Don't forget Big Daddy and Speedo man as the offical interviewers and hype men for RTT. We have been working on our hard hitting questions for this years jam. And boy have you guys been giving us a lot of material to work with. I have just recently came back from a tour of France, Italy, Greece, Turkey, and Spain were I've been doing research of the carnage RTT left over there. Wow so many hotels destroyed. And I don't mean just rooms I mean the whole hotels. In barcelona I came upon a hotel that they just lit the match on the place after you were finished. Oh and the women I have interviewed who have been so satisfied by your guys carnal urges. Well except for the ones who had Earl they said he needed to much viagra. But they did say after a few lines of snorting the little blue pill it's official there's little Earl's about to be born and will bring down the European Union soon. :lol: Overall though southern europe said they were truley and thourghly rocked by RTT and can't wait till they make another appearence there. But to please wait for a little bit so they can rebuild and the women can recover from their utter satisfaction from the RTT men. Women all over were still moaning in extascy from their brief encounters with RTT. And in Deacon's case we do mean brief. :lol:
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Deacon_Blooze » Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:18 pm

Bring it on Big Boy!
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Earl of Potent Bevs » Mon Jun 14, 2010 12:26 pm

Hey Big Daddy, those women who were complaining, well, you seen 'em. Even Deacon in his most excessive party night wouldn't have touched them. But I, being the true professional I am, tried to politely leave them with a Great RTT memory before telling them to hit the bricks. There's only so much of the Earl to go around & I didn't wanna waste it all on them. Besides I do have standards, and when I run accross women who don't meet my standards, I lower my standards - but there's even a limit to how low I'll go.
But yes I have been flooded with documents from lawers all throughout Europe representing women who claim me as the father of their children, & hey, how can ANY woman resist 8-)

Just remember to hit me up with some of that Uzo next time we hook up. I forgot to pick some more up, since we were in a hurry to avoid being detained after the little incident involving Howler, the Street Mimes, & the 4 baby swans. Plus with Deacon clutching his bag while going through customs, refusing to let them search it :o But hey, when you have the money & fame we have I don't see why he was sweating bullets like that :?
"Peace, Harmony, & RTT's"
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Earl of Potent Bevs » Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:48 pm

1st of all, Thanks to the Whiskey Pigzz for alowing us to Grace your stage, you do deserve the best - LOL

Then, to all who showed up to see our LIVE performance thurs after Sammy (we open for NOBODY as we ARE the HEADLINER!!) we hope you enjoyed the show.

We are however sorry & sincerly hope that 1 drunk, & or high individual, who decided it's more fun to fight than experience what the Great Atmosphere Moondance is all about, didn't tarnish our good (or bad) reputation. Due to this years mishap, next year we will invite Moondance Security to train with our Crackerjack Security to better insure the safety of all who attend. However, our private security did one helluva job containing the situation, which only resulted in a bruised breast recieved by the head of our Female Security "VW" (or, Brock Allen as she will now be dubded for the strength & skills she displayed of her 2 favorite sparring partners - Brock Lesner & Jared Allen). But with the assitance of Greeter, Photodude, Taint, Chris, & yes even I the Mighty Earl leaped into action, we were able to contain the situation & ensure the safety of our many fans.

Next, be sure to pick up a copy of my solo project "Pimpin' The Squirlz" due out whenever the heck I decide to start new material. & Rest Assured, the RTTs WILL be back - that is if we can keep Deacon out of treatment while me & Snake buy out Amsterdam :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :rockin: :singin: :drummin: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

Well I have to tend to business out at the Mayonase Farm. It seems as though my Top Secret, Ultra HUSH HUSH project leaked out & now can already be found in stores so I have some squirl nutz to fry.

Later Peeps ---> Stay Safe, Stay Strong, & for Gods Sake - Stay Above The Lawn!! This is Earl & I'm out 8-)
"Peace, Harmony, & RTT's"
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby philly » Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:08 pm

Man, one of these years I have to get my lazy * to Camp Hippy and see the RRT's. Heard about it from many a Jammer though!
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Hippy » Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:22 pm

Just got this online, we knew something was gonna happen

HAVOK ENSUES YET ANOTHER RTT FUNCTION
Associated Press
Fridays heavily publicized & much anticipated solo cd release “Pimpin’ the Squirls” from one of the RTT’s founding members, the Earl of Potent Beverages went off with more than just a hitch.

“Some say that in a band, image is everything, but in the RTT’s image is no act, it’s who we are!” said Deacon Blues – one of the co~founders of the World Famous Removable Tube Tops. "We’re not your average, run of the mill band, which is what separates us from the average “posers” like the Bon Jovis & Poisons of the world. Who you see on stage, whenever sobriety permits, are the same people our family & friends see everyday, we don’t sugar coat nothing for our millions & millions of fans because they can see right through a phony act”. Which brings us to the chaos surrounding Earls release.

In typical “Earl Fanfare” the mighty Earl, with help from his longtime partner in destruction – the midget, prepared a surprise dish for the 1000’s upon 1000’s in attendance – his signature dish of Squirls smothered in Mayonase. Members of PETA, who happen to be one of the main sponsors of the event, were outraged & began to destroy the serving tables, which caused an immediate response of an exploding fit of rage from both Earl & the midget.

Pam Anderson, probably one of the most famously recognized spokespersons for PETA, reportedly grabbed ahold of one of the serving roasters containing the prepared dish & dumped it over the head of Earl screaming “You Bastards! You Murderers!”, which caused Earl & the midget to retaliate in well known RTT fashion. Earl began force feeding Anderson handfuls of the prepared squirls screaming “You Hypocrite, we’ve all seen your video with Tommy Lee, we know you eat meat”, & the midget continually disappearing beneath Andersons dress, reappearing only momentarily to fetch handfuls of squirls & disappearing again multiple times giggling & mumbling incoherently.

LAPD & SWAT teams spent several hours restoring peace & trying to retrieve the midget & when they were finally able to apprehend both Earl & the midget & take them into custody they were heard yelling “What are them idiots doing here anyway? People for the Eating of Tasty Animals don’t like their kind” – referring to the Anti~PETA organization with the same initials. One can only assume this may have been an attempt on PETA’s behalf to disrupt the event by misrepresentation.

Snake, the 3rd of 3 founding members of the RTT’s simply said ‘F@#!in Whores! We need Justice! And the ONLY way we can have any f@#!ing justice in this situation is to FREE EARL & let him continue making music! Now either give me another beer or this interview is OVER!!”

No court date has yet been set, but LA Prosecutor & longtime PETA activist Ura Dumbass stated that due to the countless & repeated attacks on PETA that he would be classifying this as a Hate Crime & would be seeking $10 Billion bail. When asked why he would be seeking this record bail amount Dumbass replied “because of the wealth Earl has at his disposal we fear him to be a flight risk”.

A spokesperson for Earl responded to the record bail amount by saying “Earl makes more than that during his morning urination. We’ll pay it & Earl & the midget will be on a plane to Amsterdam by noon to party with Deacon & Snake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>Hippy
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Hippy » Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:38 am

"This Update Just In"

It appears Earl & the midget posted bail & were released only to wind up back in jail as they were caught boarding their private jet which was scheduled to take them to Amsterdam. Apparently leaving the country was a violation of their bail & they have been sentenced to 4 months hard labor at Rikers Island Penitentiary. Their appeal is pending :?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>Hippy
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Re: Everything RTT!!!

Postby Deacon_Blooze » Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:43 pm

We STILL exist! (Barely!) RTT News and Tour Announcement cuming soon!!!!!
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